Troubled teens. An interview series
Over the next few months we’ll be posting an interview series from some of the boys who have been through the Triumph program as well as some of their parents. The hope is to show what impact getting treatment can have for troubled teens as well as provide some hope and encouragement for the boys and their parents who are looking for help and hope for the future.
Today’s interview is from a boy who went through the Triumph program.
**What was the challenge you were facing before you went to Triumph?
I had drug problems. I started using at the age of 13 and my parents put up with it until I overdosed on painkillers at the age of 16. Besides my addiction I was an incredibly unruly child with very little respect for my parents. I was also very entitled and self absorbed.
**What was your first impression when you got to Triumph?
Truth be told I was incredibly nervous and scared when I arrived at Triumph. I had ingested a marijuana edible before the plane ride and was very high when I arrived. I vaguely recall seeing a group of unfamiliar scary looking young faces sitting in front of a tv watching Austin Powers. I asked to go to my room to sleep off the high and the staff was very nice to me. The continually checked on me throughout the night to make sure I was okay. My room was small and contained only a bed, which actually proved quite comfortable. I felt safe and taken care of despite feeling terrified of being in a new space with strangers. It certainly was a very weird first night and my overall experience was that of shock that I was actually there.
**What was your attitude like when you got there?
I arrived quite broken. The overdose was only the culmination of a series of miserable experiences. By the time I had arrived at Triumph, it had become apparent to me that my using was causing me a great deal of suffering. I figured I should at least give the program a shot. I did however have reservations about giving up using for my entire life.
**Were you upset with your parents for sending you there or did you understand why?
It was a mutual decision. I knew I needed help at that point was willing to go.
**How long did you think you would be there?
They told me 2 months but I was told the program takes kids up to a year. This made me really angry at first. But I got over it pretty quickly.
**How long did you actually end up staying?
I think 3 or 4 months.
**What was your LEAST favorite part about being in treatment?
There was a lot of drama in the house. People always seemed to be carrying on about something. Usually people picked on each other over petty things and this became tiresome quickly.
**Is there a specific event, experience, or story that had a significant impact on you while you were at Triumph?
We got weekly phone calls while I was there to family members for 10 minutes.I somehow managed to scheme one of the staff members into not thinking I had gotten my phone call. He gave me the extra call but later found out I lied. I felt awful about it and called a group to confess. I remember feeling awful about the thing because I had lied to a staff who I was particularly close with. This really had an impact on me as I made a resolve not to lie to people any more. Obviously to this day I have still told my fair share of lies, but certainly none of that caliber. It felt awful to lie to a friend who trusted me and I will never forget that moment.
**What impressed you the most about Triumph? Or what do you think might make it different from other treatment programs?
The staff are genuine. I really think they had my best interest at hand. I still keep in contact with some of the staff members which I think speaks to the fact.
**If you could give one piece of advice to someone currently in treatment, what would it be?
a) Be honest with yourself. b) Speak only the truth, when its helpful to the other person, and when its appropriate c) pay close attention to your current experience. Guard against reacting impulsively to events. Try not to identify too strongly with your emotions, thoughts, or sensation, rather, see if you can simply observe them, as if you were watching a movie. d) develop concentration through meditation. The problems are in the mind. But the solution is also in the mind. If you are intent on being happy you have to act only upon thoughts that lead to happiness. But if you’re not focused enough to see when unskilled thoughts (those that don’t lead to happiness, greed, angry, fear) arise, then you will probably act upon them and remain unhappy. There are many helpful books on meditation, this site provides free books and talks great for beginners http://www.dhammatalks.org/
**If you could give ONE piece of advice to parents who have a teen that is struggling with something big, what would it be?
Probably the same advice as I gave to their kids. I’d add as a reminder however that what their child decides to do in the end is out of their control. Its good to go in with no expectations. Also, remember, you’re the role model. So while your kid is away, try and use this time to develop as a better person.
**What is one thing that has stuck with you since leaving Triumph?
Changing deeply rooted destructive behaviors is difficult. It is a slow process, it’s often painful. Working through Triumph taught me that though all these thing are true, that doesn’t mean its impossible. Its possible–sure its uncomfortable, but just because it’s uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. This has helped me work through other negative behaviors after leaving Triumph.
**If you had to sum up what your experience was like in treatment, what would you say? Do you think it changed the trajectory of your life? Where do you think you’d be if you hadn’t gone to Triumph? Or do you think you would have been ok without it?
An incredible experience. Being from California, I loved living in Utah. It was so cool to be in this completely different place and have 4 months to just work solely on changing my bad behaviors. Probably I didn’t think any of that at the time, but looking back I see what a gift it was to have been able to go to Triumph. This experience helped me get back on the right path. The way I was using drugs, it was very possible that I could have died had I continued at the pace I was going.
Thanks so much for this interview!
