There seems to be a growing myth in our society that we should be able to take care of ourselves without help. That we can be completely independent and have no need from others. Asking for help can often be seen as a sign of weakness. And it can often cause a lot of shame for the person asking for help.
The truth is, we belong to each other. We don’t have to do it alone. We weren’t meant to do it alone. This is especially true when it comes to parenting. The saying “it takes a village to raise a child” isn’t said in jest. It’s truth. Parenting is hard. And sometimes we need outside help to raise children to be the people we know they can be.
In the book “Rising Strong” by Brene Brown she says, “The bottom line is that we need each other. And not just civilized, proper, convenient kind of need. Not one of us gets through this life without expressing desperate, messy, and uncivilized need. The kind we are reminded of when we come face-to-face with someone who is in a deep struggle.
Dependence starts when we’re born and lasts until we die. We accept our dependence as babies, and ultimately, with varying levels of resistance, we accept help as we get to the end of our lives. But in the middle of our lives, we mistakenly fall pray to the myth that successful people are those who help rather than need, and broken people need rather than help. Given enough resources, we can even pay for help and create the mirage that we are completely self-sufficient. But the truth is that no amount of money, influence, resources, or determination will change our physical, emotional, and spiritual dependence on others. Not at the beginning of our lives, not in the messy middle, and not at the end.”
As individuals we need each other. As parents we most definitely need each other. Life is built upon the foundation of all of us helping each other AND asking for help.
