7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens–Be Proactive
The first and foundational habit in 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens–be proactive. Sean Covey states that being proactive is the key to unlocking all the other habits and that’s why it comes first.
“…there are two types of people in this world–the proactive and the reactive–those who take responsibility for their lives and those who blame; those who make it happen and those who get happened to.”
This is one of my favorite habits and one that would be well for kids to learn at a very young age. It’s critical we teach our youth they have the power to choose. Choose how to respond to any given situation and not blaming others for the way we respond. The choice is ours. WE are in charge or our own lives and whether we make things happen or we “get happened to.”
We’re driving down the road and someone cuts us off. A friend lies to us. A referee makes a bad call in a game we’re playing. What do we do? How do we respond? Are we reactive? Do we freak out? Do we blame others? Do we take the power away from ourself and give it to someone else?
John Bytheway (seriously best name ever) related being reactive to a remote control. When you’re reactive to something, it’s like giving someone else the remote control to your life and giving them the power to change your mood anytime they want.
Or are we proactive? We stay calm. We keep control. We accept responsibility for our part. We keep the remote control and choose our mood and response.
The following poem was shared in the book and it is the perfect example of how to take responsibility for our life and how we can transition from reactive to proactive.
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters (by Portia Nelson)
I
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost….I am helpless
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
II
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
III
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.
IV
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
V
I walk down another street.
