There are a lot of people out there talking about teens who struggle but it’s often hard to find people being real and honest and raw and….real (I know, said “real” twice, but that’s what we need–real, real, real).
This article–this is real and honest and raw. And has some solid, applicable advice for any people out there who are trying mightily to parent a teen who struggles.
Jen Hatmaker says:
“I want to talk today to the parents in the deepest trenches, absolutely battling for their children’s loyalty or health or even their lives. First, you are not alone. Hear that. Parenting troubled teens often involves silent suffering, which can trick you into thinking you are isolated. An easy target for judgment or shame, so many families in crisis struggle alone, afraid or embarrassed or just too damn exhausted to reach out. Society expects three-year-olds to act like lunatics, but we don’t know what to do with a teen that cuts or abuses or destroys or hates herself.
Because we are a people who like to blame, so often parents get the side eye: What did you do wrong? What didn’t you do right? What could you have done differently? The truth is, teenagers are whole human beings and they get to choose their steps. So many troubled teens are beloved, they come from good families, they were rocked and read to and cheered for. There is no parenting formula that ensures any child’s path. Families in crisis don’t need a jury of their peers; they need a community of support. A parent can virtually do everything right and their child can still disappear. What’s more, a parent can virtually engage every good intervention, and their child may stay gone.”
You can read the entire article here. It’s well worth the time.
And to all you parents out there who have a struggling teen, there is often only so much you can do and it’s NOT your fault. Getting a third party involved is often necessary and not shameful. Bless you. “Brokenhearted parents, you are seen and loved.”
Never stop fighting for your kids. They deserve it even if it doesn’t feel that way sometimes.
