Understanding Children’s Behavior

It is so hard being a parent and knowing the right ways to handle our children and their behaviors.  I came across this article and thought it had some great information.

A Parent’s Guide to Children’s Behavior

As with so many other parts of parenting, education can be your best tool in understanding your child and encouraging the behavior you want. The available advice is copious and often contradictory. However, the majority of parenting experts agree on a handful of basic “laws” of child behavior that can help make your job easier and more fulfilling.

You Are the Grownup

Being the grownup in your relationship with your child is a double-edged sword. On the one side, it’s your right and responsibility to set boundaries for your child. As the grownup, it’s your right and responsibility to make decisions, even decisions your child won’t like. On the down side, you’re also responsible to set a good example. If you behave in a childish manner when your child upsets you, your child will imitate that behavior. Modeling the behavior you want to see is a powerful parenting tool.

Dislike the Behavior, Not the Child

If you tell your child a behavior is dangerous, rude or inappropriate, it allows the child to correct that behavior. If you tell a child that he is personally the problem, you take away his ability to make things right. This holds equally true for positive traits. If you praise good grades by calling your child “smart,” you are praising something over which she has no control. If you praise them by saying she “worked hard,” you are specifically identifying a behavior she can use to succeed in the future..

Kids Push Limits

Part of your job as a parent is to set limits to protect your child. Part of his job as your child is to test those limits to find out where they are, and if you really mean them. This behavior is part of your child’s learning whether or not he can trust you to mean what you say. You shouldn’t take it personally. Rather, stay consistent so your child knows where your boundaries are, and that you will enforce them.

Kids are Short-Term Thinkers

The ability to understand long-term consequences of behavior doesn’t fully develop until the early to mid-20s, according to guidance counselor and author Suzanne Phillips in her book “Burn.” That means your children are short-term thinkers. They’ll do things based on immediate gratification, not what comes next. This can be especially frustrating for parents, who often worry about a child’s long-term success and happiness. Just remember that it’s part of a child’s nature. You can use short-term mistakes as teachable moments, but getting mad about it is like getting mad at the rain for being wet.

http://www.livestrong.com/article/533118-a-parents-guide-to-childrens-behavior/