Have you ever heard another parent say they want to be their teen’s friend? What was your thought? Do you agree? Do you disagree?
Therapists often see family situations where the parents want to be their teenager’s best buddy. This is dangerous because the parent is not a teenager anymore and teenagers need boundaries and guidelines.
There is a difference between doing things together with your teenager and being their buddy. Spending too much time together lends itself to becoming buds instead of having a parent/child relationship.
Problems caused by parents trying to be their teenager’s friend:
- Teen does not know where boundaries are
- Teen does not know the rules of the family
- Teen does not give parent any authority because they are equal
- Parental friendship with their teen stymies the teen’s growth – keeping them immature because the parent is immature
- Subconscious power and authority play by the parent
- Parent fears of taking responsibility and accountability for their child
- Does not promote healthy self esteem</li>
- Parents want to live their life through their child
- Does not promote individuality of the teenager
- Parents want their teenager’s friends around for the wrong reason
- Can lead to enabling behavior
Parents need to be parents; setting limits, providing guidance, building self esteem, teaching family moral, ethics and values, loving unconditionally, being a role model, encouraging accountability, etc.
